One of the biggest differences with our domestic adoption and international adoption is the preparation period. With our #journeytojudah in Ethiopia, we know that we'll have anywhere from 6 months to 16 months to prepare for his arrival, even after we're matched. With our #searchingforsunshine domestic process, we could get a call that a birth mother is in her second trimester, or that a baby has already been born, or anything in between. It's been exciting and crazy to think that our lives could completely change (for the better, of course) from one day to the next, or even one hour to the next. That is a new concept for us!
Jason and I have joked lately that we are professional waiters, or rather, wait-ers. Even so, I find it difficult to live in the meantime of life. The ladies in my Gospel Community group are reading a book right now, and this quote describes me perfectly:
“One of my own personal struggles is a temptation to always look ahead to the next thing, idealizing the other-ness of what is not rather than embracing the essence of what is.”
Why is it so hard for women, or maybe humans in general, to embrace our meantime? I think that sometimes we look at our meantime as small or insignificant. I know that I'm certainly guilty of that. I tend to replace the word "waiting" with "nothing" and "nothing" with "hopelessness". But I'm learning more each day that in the meantime is where God teaches us the most. In our insignificance, our nothing, and our hopelessness, He shows up greater than we could imagine and directs our path.
If we were in Sunday School right now, I'd tell you that Jason and I have an "unspoken," meaning a request for prayer that we cannot give information on. My anthem this week has been "Thy will be done," and there's a great song that goes along with that by Hillary Scott, which has been on repeat. We are in the thick of our meantime, and I feel so very powerless. But the good news, no, actually the great news is that God is oh so powerful. If I've learned anything in my meantime it's that my plans are not necessarily God's plans, as well intentioned as they may be. But God's plans are perfect, and His plans are for me, and I can rest in the truth that I would rather have His plans than my own any day.
If you feel like you're living in your meantime right now, please know that you are not alone. There are many of us who are standing with you battling against fears of insignificance, smallness, and hopelessness. And more than anything, God is with us all in our meantime because He is good all of the time.
